As long as I'm alive, I'mma live illegal.

All right, this is serious, socially-aware time.  Grown-up faces, people.

• Firstly (and least-time-consumingly!) please check out my friend Lisa's art site.  She's really talented, and I love her to pieces... not to mention she's gorgeous.  Lisa would probably kick me in the groin for saying that, but facts be facts, yo.

• Secondly, have I told you yet that there are 7-11s in China?  The chain is ubiquitous (seriously, everywhere you look), with branches functioning as 24 hour supermarkets/liquor stores.  The one in WuDaoKou is especially popular after midnight, as one can pick up a slightly less expensive handle of Jack Daniel's and a liter of Coca-Cola before heading back into the nightclub next door.  I've gotten addicted to their store-brand Pocky:  "Seven Premium Chocolate Sticks!", which is cheaper, and comes in a ridiculous number of flavors:  including creamy potato-bacon, blueberry creme, and chocolate almond.  Delicious.

• HandsomeRich was in a BMW commercial.  Lulz.
• This is actually something that should have happened a long time ago, as HandsomeRich is tall, classy, intelligent, and confident - precisely the sort of person an automobile company would be eager to have pimping its product.  I'm honestly a little confused as to why random Chinese mothers aren't tossing their daughters out into the street as he walks by in the hope that he'll trip over one of them and fall madly in love.  It's that bad.

• Pajj was cast as an extra in a CCTV melodrama about the Empress Dowager Cixi.  
• ... This, however, is a "WTF, China?" occurrence.  I may be many things, and may have many aspirations, but "international actress discovered on the street!" is not one of them.  The entire experience was a little sketchy - it involved a LOT of waiting around, which I suspect is typical for filming anything - and *freezing*, as it took place in a model of the Forbidden City out in the Beijing boondocks.  Met some really interesting people though.
• And no, I don't have any idea how they're going to turn the life of "a devious despot who contributed in no small part to China's slide into corruption, anarchy, and revolution" into a melodrama.  Guess we'll all find out in September?

• There are a few things that bother me about my textbook/workbook.   
• Number one:  it's not a textbook.  It's flimsy, printed on newspaper-quality paper, and intended to only last a few months.  I would prefer paying a little more for something with a bit more of a lifespan.  The ability to actually *write* in the text - to be interactive, instead of just straight reading - is a pro, though.  
• Number two:  English and pinyin are both used, but only peripherally - which makes sense for a book designed to teach elementary school students Chinese - but it is also a bit annoying.  After a character is introduced in pinyin, it is never mentioned in pinyin again.  Hanzi is of primary importance.  
• (I know that's a dead horse, and I can't change the way I'm being taught, but CHRIST!  Someone is actually paying for this - paying an amount comparable to the scholarship given to Peking U and Tsinghua undergraduate students - and the education I'm getting is far inferior.  Not cool, CUGB.  Not cool.)
• Number three:  the dialogues are both stereotypical and misogynistic.  I can say this with confidence, now that I've worked through all the lessons.  
• Example:  one exchange, between a girl named Lisa and a French boy named Jeff, centers around Lisa's desire to stay in her dorm instead of going to class one morning because she wants to meet up with her boyfriend.  Jeff, upon discovering this, ridicules her decision to have a boyfriend and suggests that she give him a "present" when he comes.  Giggity?
• There's also the matter of everyone pairing off into couples in the dialogues (no, seriously) and the women always being the ones to make dumplings/serve tea.  
• One character, Wang Ping (the only Chinese person) tells the American, Peter, that he intends to study in the United States for graduate school.  Peter's response is that Wang Ping should stay with his family for the extent of his time in graduate school, without paying money, and that it would be no trouble whatsoever.  Wang Ping's response is a simple thank you, with the implication that Peter's invitation is completely normal, and actually expected - even though Wang Ping has never allowed Peter to stay in his home in China.  
• .Um... what?
• In another dialogue, Jeff's bike is stolen.  Wang Ping's responses are as follows:  "Oh, you must not be looking in the right place.";  "Oh, you must not have tied it up correctly.";  "Oh, well, then, just get a new one."  This is apparently standard for a Chinese mindset?  Are there *ever* police reports for missing items, or is there just no hope of retrieving them?  Or would it just be too hard to put that into a dialogue?  They'd already introduced the word for police, and police station.
• The other workbook is even funnier, most of the time.  There was a section towards the end on differentiating between "Chinese medicine" and "Chinese drugs" - i.e., medicinal herbs vs. marijuana.  The main character was in an airport, getting searched by the police (both westerners) who had angry expressions on their faces and were emphatically stating "NOT Chinese medicine!" while the student was trying to explain that he just wanted something to cure his headache.
• Fact:  ... uh.  It isn't that hard, folks.
• I also just realized that I stopped numbering off my complaints with the text due to frustration.  That's probably an even bigger indication of how much I *hate* it, right?
• Finally, and most seriously:  the alcohol situation.  

Taken straight out of a TimeOut Beijing pamphlet:

Buying DVDs for a fraction of the cost in the West is one thing, but nobody wants to knock back fake alcohol, especially if it's potentially dangerous.  Not all alcohol sold in Beijing's bars is genuine.  'Most people drink mixed spirits, so they can't really taste the difference,' explains Jade Gray, owner of the nightclub Lush.  After a batch of fake alcohol once slipped into Gray's delivery, he decided to do a taste test 'and sure enough, four out of the five drinks weren't right'.  Gray now [performs] random taste tests for each delivery and requests a stamp from the warehouse for each bottle.  But, according to Robin Howlett, owner of Souk, some bars don't seem to mind selling less-than-authentic booze.  'You can't make mney out of 50RMB all you can drink nights using brand spirits.  What some bars are doing is buying cheap 9RMB vodka and rebottling it in brand-name bottles,' he says.

Earlier this year, in just one raid, Tianjin police discovered 2,600 kilograms of raw materials used in fake alcohol and nearly 200,000 fake labels of twelve companies, including Hennessey and Chivas.  Ray Moroney, from IPR company Rouse and Co., says 'one of the problems companies have is what they call "refill", where pedlars take a genuine bottle, put fake alcohol inside, and then reseal it'.

But the complexities of the distillation process means fake spirits carry a potential health risk.  'When you distil alcohol, you have to take off the top and bottom ends to remove the bad alcohol.  Someone who is faking it isn't going to worry about that,' says Duncan Loynes, the general manager for Foster's beer (China).  'The dangerous alcohols can kill you.  They can make you blind.  It is entirely possible that they can be safe, but it's impossible to tell, as they are not regulated at all.'

Without any kind of regulation, the health risks are obvious.  'Some manufacturers are making alcoholic drinks illegally using methanol - a cheaper and easier to produce alcohol than ethanol.  Methanol is not meant for human consumption, but for industrial and hospital use.  If it is ingested, methanol can cause problems,' explains Dr. Nizar Ahmed of the International Medical Center in Beijing.  'A very small quantity of methanol can pass through the body, but if you drink a significant amount, then it will kill you.  It takes about 72 hours for methanol to pass through the body, so there can be an accumulative effect.  Drinking [alcohol tainted with methanol] all weekend could cause serious damage,' he warns.  'If one is suspicious that they have imbibed any methanol-based substance, they should have their stomach pumped within a couple of hours.  Alternatively, if you are suspicious that you have drunk a small amount of fake alcohol, you should eat a lot of food such as meat, fish, bread, and milk.  Thsi will help absorb the alcohol,' advises Dr. Ahmed.

But to Gray, the difference between pirated CDs and a bottle of fake spirits is huge.  'You're putting this into your body.  Alcohol tainted with methanol isn't just illegal music;  this is poison.'  

I met Jade a while ago;  he's one of the owners of Lush, and co-founder of GungHo Ventures (all of which are big names in the Beijing area).   This was one of the subjects he touched on over lunch, regarding business practices, but I guess I never really grasped the magnanimity of the issue.  Tainted alcohol is the reason why I've been wary about hitting the club scene (Propaganda, Solutions, etc.), and don't mind sticking with internationally-owned bars, even though the beverages are much more expensive. 

... There's also the whole "Getting slapped on the ass and being crowded by a mob of pulsating, moshing people is uber-sketch" mindset, but whatever.  That's clubbing, in general.   

• 
  Scary Bosses (n.):  see "Video games"
  Jade's on the left
  
  
  
  
   Given the level of drinking for most of the study abroad students here, it would be easy to imagine some of them having severe health problems later on, due to the volume of alcohol they imbibe.  Every night, I see the same faces stumbling along the streets by the seediest bars in WuDaoKou;  has anyone let them know about the "evil spirits"?  Probably not :-\  Or if they have, the schoolkids just don't want to shell out a few more yuan for safety's sake.  
  
  
  Sad face.  Serious face.  Grown-up face.
  
  Oh, China.  I luffs you, but you is all sorts of messed up sometimes :(
  
  
  <3s,
  Pajj

Dido's "Thank You" is too adoring; Alanis's "Thank You" is too sarcastic. Sufjan's got it right. Words are futile devices.

Dido's "Thank You"

Alanis's "Thank You"

<3

The 2010 ChinaThankStravaganza was spent knee-deep in KFC mashed potatoes, egg products, cheap Chinese wine, and personal reflection/introspection - not to mention copious amounts of internet humor and Dylan Moran standup.  If anyone would like a pirated Czech copy of "Monster", just let me know :)  

Because of that marathon of self-analysis, I think I've whittled down and classified the "YAY THANK YOU" list to a manageable blog entry.  So here we go!:

PAJJ BAILEY'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS

See, isn't that lovely?  

Some of the more psychologically-well-versed individuals who are in the habit of reading this blog might notice that it bears a striking resemblance to the needs of a Mr. Maslow:

... He, of course, lived before the internet.  Poor soul.

At any rate, the things I'm giving thanks for follow his structure fairly closely.  

• UTILITIES:  I am thankful for plumbing that actually works when it is supposed to, and U-bends installed in toilets so that stench isn't normally a problem.  I am thankful for hot showers;  the relatively constant availability of electricity and water transferred directly to your home;  and real kitchen ovens.  The sorts of ovens that make bread - not the terrifying-looking hot plates/Bunsen burners masquerading as "stoves" that populate homes around here.
• Oh, and mattresses!  I'm thankful for real mattresses.
• REGULATIONS AND SAFETY:   I am thankful that normally, upon purchasing a package of instant coffee, I can be assured that the powdered milk doesn't contain melamine.  Standards and regulations for food products are also a pretty nice thing;  and being secure in the knowledge that whatever I ingest has undergone at least *minimal* quality control testing is worth being thankful for.  
• On the subject of regulations:  driver's licenses!  And knowing that at least someone had to pass some sort of test before getting behind the wheel of a machine that could raze me from the face of the Earth.  Traffic lights and adherence to traffic laws are also good.  Getting run over isn't on the Pajj AccomplishMents and Fun List of Exciting Things (PAMFLET, for short).
• FLOW OF INFORMATION
• Lack of regulation for THE INTERNETZ (even though that might cease to be the case in the very near future).  I am thankful for email being a widely-used resource, in the United States, and upset that administration at my university refuses to use it as a contact method.
• BOOKS:  I am thankful, in the US, for libraries filled with books on any subject I could ever imagine.  I am thankful, currently, for the book peddlers who sell pirated copies of English and Japanese novels - most of which, I've recently discovered, are banned in China.  
• I'm thankful, SO thankful for hardcover textbooks in libraries and for classes in the United States;  the textbooks that we use for classes here are workbooks, printed on newspaper-quality paper. It would be reasonable if that were the case for language-learning materials;  more of an interactive approach to the data;  but the textbooks are like this for EVERY subject, from chemistry to electrical engineering to sociology. 
• EDUCATION
• I am thankful for the ability to question - anything and everything.  Also thankful for having been exposed to classes with professors who are devoted to conveying their material in the most engaging and informative manner possible - and being able to recognize a professor who just doesn't care.   Professors who are willing to bend over backwards to help their students;  to comfort them if they're going through a difficult period;  or to encourage them and write recommendation letters if they're ready to take the next step in their career. 
• I am thankful for the Scientific Method, and dedicated adherence to it.  
• Also incredibly, incredibly thankful for intellectual property rights and regulation.
• RELIGION
• ... or not.  In my case, mostly the not.  But I'm thankful to have the choice.
• PEOPLE
• I'm thankful that I was able to meet my dad earlier this year, even though it didn't turn out as well as I had hoped.
• FRIENDS = Both the old ones, and the new ones.  You guys are inspirational, and hearing about your adventures makes me want to live my own :)  Don't think I would have been able to get through this past 12 months if it weren't for the people in my life, and I'm sorry if I haven't made that more clear to you.  The next time I see any of you, be prepared to receive the biggest hug in the history of ever.
• ... Have I mentioned coffee, yet?  Because dude, I am SO thankful for coffee.
• As a matter of fact, I'm going to go actively demonstrate my love for coffee right now.  Coffee+milk.  Hierarchy of needs, etc.  I can't be creative without it.

<3s and stars, and don't stop believin',
Pajj

I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here.

So, updates:  Paige is failing at life! 
... Well, I mean, sort of. 

[Metaphorical kicks in nonexistent balls are indicated by bracketed numbers.]

Over the past week, electricity and water has been cutting itself off in the foreign students' apartments for hours at a time.  This is annoying (for obvious reasons), but it also means that my alarm clock reset itself during the night, and I wasn't able to wake up to teach my class on Saturday morning.  The administration at the high school was very unhappy about this;  I don't blame them;  and it was completely my fault.  [1]  Most likely I'll be threatened with discharge, perhaps even "fired", but since I don't really have this as part of my job record... not to mention, I'm not getting paid... it won't really count. 

Tumba (my roommate, who is from Africa and speaks basically no English) hates me, for some reason.  For the life of me, I can't figure out what I've done that's so insulting - or if it's just a general ill-feeling toward the American girl who doesn't go to class.  [2]  I have tried apologizing, via text message, notes, orally - for whatever I've done, but she doesn't seem to understand, and responds with even more scathing notes.  It's gotten to the point where I am literally terrified to come out of my bedroom, because she just stares at me with her arms crossed until I either leave the apartment, or go back into my room.  [3]

... Actually writing about it just makes it sound hilarious.  Maybe I should make a webcomic.  The other students (the two Russian girls, Mongolians, other Africans) react basically the same way.  Is knowing English like having some sort of curse word tattooed on my forehead?  Sometimes it feels that way :(

I've been reading a lot - science articles, textbooks, novels, websites, anything I can get my hands on.  *That* is a good thing, and feels similar to high school in many ways.  Theatre and academic contests were my outlet then;  otherwise, isolation was the norm.  The only problem is that Rice has spoiled me into having people to discuss ideas with - if I keep thoughts to myself, it feels... wrong, somehow.  I can write them down, I can post them on Facebook, I can try to find forums online, but that isn't broadening horizons at all.  [4]

I haven't been outside of Beijing [5], and most likely couldn't afford to go very far.  I am CHINA, for godsake!  But even though many of the things I've been reading are related to Chinese history, language, and culture, that aspect of my education while here feels ridiculously inadequate.  Most of the time, it feels like my blond hair labels me as a giant, walking pocketbook to the Chinese (that's probably paranoia speaking?  I hope?  but when I'm quoted ridiculous prices for things and fuwuyuans "forget" to bring change for purchases, or bring the wrong amounts...) [6]

Xenophobia is obvious, and understandable.  If you have so many people in your country that you have to fight for resources amongst *yourselves*, why the heck would you welcome *outsiders*, unless they were bringing additional resources for you to capitalize on?  Like the automotive companies, and other businesses that set up production in China:  Chinese people were cool with it in the beginning, because they were learning how to do the processes by themselves.  After they learned the techniques, why should they welcome foreign businesses?

Haven't been going to class;  again, my fault.  [7]  Have been studying the workbooks, but apparently was studying the wrong things, since Hanzi is the most valuable tool to my teachers (who cannot speak English).  Really, really starting to hate language barriers.  [8]  "What we have here is a failure to communicate";  probably, 90% of my problems could be solved if I was able to explain myself and understand others perfectly.

I feel so grimy, all the time - unattractive, disgusting, etc. etc.  [9]  That isn't baiting for compliments, it's an honest complaint.  When bathrooms are cleaned in this country, one mop is used;  thus, the doors, the toilets, inside the toilets, the walls, the floors?  They all end up with the same germs, and the same smell.  Showers are in the same vicinity as the toilet.  Finally realize the importance of "shower shoes".  Any time my skin touches a surface, I get this mental image of whatever I'm touching as a gigantic mound of dinosaur feces - remember that scene in Jurassic Park?  And Jurassic Park III, too, as a matter of fact. 

The best parts of the week are Friday and Sunday, because those are the live music nights in Wudaokou.  The international people I've met at Lush are lovely - interesting, sympathetic, kind.  Without them, I'd probably have given up and come home long ago (or gotten severely lonely and just locked myself in my room 24/7).  Having that support structure in place is fantastic, but does it detract from my experience in China?  If the majority of my experiences in dealing with the Chinese government and the people are negative, what sort of an impression will that leave me with?  I don't want to come out of this with a mindset embracing stereotypes :-\

Haven't applied for any REUs yet [10], and need to figure out who to ask for letters of recommendation.  Sending transcripts from Rice is going to be expensive, and I don't really have an income.  Money issues are going to be difficult.  If I receive the scholarship to study in China again next year, I might be able to arrange for funding from July 2011 to July 2012, and could change my plane ticket's departure date from July 1, 2011 to July 1, 2012.  That would mean that I could start studying at Tsinghua immediately - but I really should be using this coming summer as a way to make money for taking the GREs, living expenses while in China, not to mention a plane ticket BACK to China, if I do study here another year.

All of those things make it sound like my time here must be unbearable - but I promise, it's not!  I'm learning a lot, about many different things;  and I'm loving the people I meet.  Mostly, life is terrifically fun :)  Definitely different.  There are just a lot of little irks to deal with. 

At any rate, love you all, and miss you bunches.  I'll try to post more pictures very soon.


<3,
Pajj

Metaphysical microscopic topic dropper

Sorry this entry has been delayed, but I wanted to see how the first exam in Chinese would turn out before making any sort of rash generalization about SinoUniversity Education.  Now, for a sweeping generalization based on one occurrence in an atypical setting (so much better, right?):

I dislikes this.  I dislikes it, muchly.

The exam (which literally was just completed) dealt entirely with Hanzi (Chinese characters).  Conversational skills, word order, aural comprehension - none of those aspects of language made an appearance, which means, unfortunately, I probably failed.  Another problem:  when the professor spoke, I could understand everything she said;  and, if given the pinyin for the Hanzi listed on the exam itself, I probably would have been able to make a good showing. 

... But you know what? 

I'm more proud of myself for understanding random people on the street, bus announcers, and various snippets from films than anything else.  There are iPhone apps for character recognition, but not voice-recognition/auto-translation.  Douglas Adams might have been able to envision a Babel fish, and Gene Roddenberry could arrange translation devices for Star Fleet, but the rest of us are going to have to wait till Steve Jobs pops out another brainchild.

Happier notes!

• The lesson for the high school kids last week went very well, in unexpected ways.  I brought the music videos for K-Os's "Love Song" and MGMT's "Kids", along with a short presentation on freaky animals (which turned into an explanation of "noodling", for God knows whatever reason) and a discussion about YouTube and why or why not it's a good resource. 
• The music videos bombed, hardcore.  Was utterly lost as to why (K-Os is so good!  They loved "Clint Eastwood" last week!  And Jon Salmon's video for MGMT is so hipster!), so I asked a few kids after class.  
• "Hipster" apparently equals weird;  painted faces, electronica, and people-who-aren't-blonde don't go over too well.  That was the deal behind K-Os, too;  he's African American, as were all of the actors in the film, and the imagery was Chinese (a Shaolin temple, populated with kids who were learning the art of music). 
• "Clint Eastwood", on the other hand, was vaguely anime (which is popular here, even though it's Japanese), and the main singer was automatically assumed to be white.
• I wonder how they'd feel about Tool?  
•  ... Kids also thought noodling was "DUDE SWEET", which I need to remedy.  I also need to record them saying this, as THEY HAVE LEARNED IT FROM ME!  Starting a new slang trend centered around "sweet action", "dude sweet", "righteous", "groady", and "hard core" would make me so happy.
• Met a really cool guy at Lush's music night on Friday.  We talked a little bit on Sunday during OpenMic about the Second Sino-Japanese war, back in the early/mid 20th century.  Never really heard much about the Japanese occupation of Manchuria or China in high school, but did some internet research later that night and will most likely be having nightmares for the rest of the year :(
• It's awful, guys - puts the Holocaust into perspective, in addition to all those other things that Eddie Izzard mentions in "Dressed to Kill" about Pol Pot and the virtual genocide of Native Americans by European conquerors.  History's written by the winners;  I just never assumed that the winners were more interested in documenting their own failures and atrocities while ignoring the plights of others.
• Am considering doing a class based on this for Saturday - sort of a brief depiction of war crimes throughout history, from different countries, and a discussion afterward about WHY they happened - but need to have an alternative ready in case some kids aren't up to it.  
• If there's anything that begs to be accomplished in this high school teaching program, it's encouraging the "WHY".  At the beginning of each lesson's discussion period, I write "WHY" really big on the board, and underline it any time someone responds to a question with "That's just how it is" or "Because that's how we are told".  I want to know their thoughts on historical events - the answer wrongs are committed is never "because they're monsters" or "because they're mean"; if I learned anything from Psychology courses, it's that.  There's no black and white.  
• Scientific Method, right?  There's always a reason, a deeper root to the problem, and at least a partial explanation. You just have to have evidence supporting your conclusion.
• Anyhow, I'll stop rambling about that.
• ... And start rambling about something else!  Namely math and science.  I miss it, so much.
• Read my Facebook for updates, and if you have any sites to recommend with free textbooks, please let me know.  
• <3
• Guess who got to crash the iWeekend conference at the ChinaGoogle building?
• ME 
• THAT'S RIGHT
• A PAJJ WAS IN THE GOOGLE BUILDING
• BECAUSE PAJJES ARE AMAZING
• ...
• Well, I mean, actually it was because Rich (from Pyro Pizza) needed someone to be cute and dress up in pigtails and bright red coveralls while passing out pizza to the technies.  But I got free food, met some amazing people -
• The concept of iWeekend is to brainstorm ideas for a start-up company, present those ideas concisely and effectively to a large group, and then have that group vote on which start-up sounds most viable.  It's then [hopefully] successfully implemented, and to the victors go the spoils.  Epic!  It's like a Will Wright Sims game, but in real life!
• - and am now contemplating crashing the conference again.  I'd need a heck of a disguise, though;  security's tight, name tags are required at all times, and there are some pretty terrifying-looking bouncers at the front gates.  It'd be worth it, though.  They have Fooz-ball tables all over the place, and free vending machines, and the really impressive technology, especially for China.  I bet their internet connection is fantastic :)

So!  That's enough of that.  Back to procrastinating by reading physics articles.

<3s and stars,
Pajj

If I lived in China, I'd have some Chinese children

What follows is a rough chronicle of my love affair with China, 

partially in order to repudiate the claim that coming here was a complete whim.  

(Mother:  Yes, I am talking to you.)

1989 = I AM BORN.  (This has nothing to do with China.)

1995 = See Hook for the first time, and almost immediately develop a crush on Rufio (the mohawked, skateboarding Asian leader of the Lost Boys).  Doesn't help that The Goonies and the Indiana Jones movies also feature Asian sidekicks.  Data and ShortRound are pretty attractive to an impressionable young nerd.

1997 = Read Laurence Yep's Dragon of the Lost Sea three times in a row, then saw a special on PBS about Chinese women binding their feet.  The former was fantastic (still recommend that book);  the latter was horrifying, and resulted in nightmares for the next two years.

1998 = Mulan!  (who is, without a doubt, one of my favorite Disney heroines) 

1999 = Start collecting Nancy Drew books, and add The Mystery of the Fire Dragon.  This particular book contains a lot of random information about Chinese pottery and pearls, which results in my being an ass during my mothers forays into antique/junk shops.  ("This is obviously a fake!  Dragons weren't allowed to have five toes on pottery, except for... etc.)  Add to this my ire at Harry Potter finally developing a crush on a girl and it NOT BEING HERMIONE.  Damn you, Cho Chang.

2000 = Shanghai Noon and Rush Hour.  Watch them both so many times that my mother starts fretting about an obsession with Jackie Chan. 

2001 = TCM phase:  the (horribly stereotypical but oh-so-good) Charlie Chan and Bruce Lee movies, in addition to the musical Flower Drum Song.  Also, "Sagwa the Siamese Chinese Cat" on PBS (shut up).

2003 =  Read The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck for class, and Amy Tan's books, most obviously The Joy Luck Club and The Kitchen God's Wife for fun.  Get introduced to The Last Emperor by one of the most awesome people in the world (RIP Jarrett) and fall in love with the soundtrack (arranged by Philip Glass). Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon appears on the Starz! channels, and I watch this obsessively (in addition to the film adaptation of Tan's JLC).

- Brief hiatus upon discovery of Jim Morrison, The Grateful Dead, and hippie culture -

2006 = YouTube (one of the founders is Chinese, the Back Dorm Boys, and KevJumba)

2007 =  Start realizing that many of my favorite bands have Chinese musicians (but no Asian frontmen, which sucks balls).  Chi Cheng (Deftones bassist), Kevin Tong (Bloc Party drummer), etc.  Additionally, one of my favorite professors at Rice (Nico Orlandi) uses the Chinese room concept as one of our final exam's essay questions (PHIL 103:  Philosophy of Cognitive Science).

2008 =  Everyone's learning Chinese!  And Joss Whedon says that we're going to unite with China in the not-too-distant future!  ("Firefly") 

2009 =  "Hey, Paige!  There's this scholarship thing to go to China!"  Oh, and Harry Shum, Jr.

2010 = Getting run over by bicycles, motorbikes, buses, cars, and people every time I step onto a road.  Being introduced to some of the most interesting (and some of the most exasperating) people in the world.  Getting sick daily.  Waiting ages for bureaucracy to untangle itself.  Being housed in substandard living conditions.  Teaching incredibly bright children.  Marveling at billboards depicting FEMALE astronauts.  Encountering a language that is balls hard to understand, and completely counter-intuitive to a native English speaker.  Learning humility.  Attempting moderation.  Loving every minute of it.  Never wanting to leave :)

<3s and stars,
Pajj

Heal the scars from off my back / I don't need them anymore

Things I miss:

Home.

I miss theatre practice.  Lake Whitney.  The "Sara Pinner Day!" sign.  Snagging hugs in the hallways before class.  Searching for the nudist colony that you KNOW exists, but can never find.  Emu farms.  I miss hearing about the crazy shit that people do on the weekend from twenty different sources before lunchtime.  I even miss Frau Radde (that means it's serious). 

There may have been homesickness and nostalgia before, but it's never, never been this bad.

I'm so tired, guys. 

Compounded with the memories of high school are the memories of college -  nights with Team Blonde, staying up late writing papers in Fondren, dodging the residue from Baker 13, eagerly anticipating the next college night.  Walking around the Heights or Montrose.  Finding a bookstore/coffee shop, and hanging out for hours.  Holy God, free refills on coffee.  I miss free refills so much.

I miss life being similar to "King of the Hill".  WTF is wrong with me?

Don't get me wrong;  Beijing is great.  I've met some awesome people, and there have been good times.  If I was a little more receptive to the good times, there would probably be Very Good Times.  Speaking of which, where the hell is the Comp-Sci-version-of-Tyler-Durden?  I haven't seen him or his lovely longboard in ages.

ARGH, fuck this.  Enough feeling sorry for myself.  This isn't even about China.

Sino-updates:

I went to go see a concert on Friday, primarily because the headlining band was getting decent reviews on The Beijinger (Dead Farmers, from Australia).  The two bands prior completely blew the DF out of the water, though!  Residence A and the Bedstars.  Started talking to two girls nearby, Sophia and Amy, and got introduced to the first band (Bedstars).  That was interesting.  There was also a dude from Madonna's record label in the audience, which was a... different experience (one of the people in his entourage, a Chinese dude named Lucifer who was clad in an incredibly ostentatious jacket, was one of the only people I've met who could genuinely qualify as a "Character"). 

The Bedstars are... wow.  If you want details, ask.

Saturday was my class at CNU high school, which went exceptionally well.  My lesson was on "strange international laws", and at the end of class I played the music video for Gorillaz's "Clint Eastwood", then introduced some of the vocabulary after they were tricked into liking it.  Next week, I think I'm going to do Urban Legends and K-Os's "Love Song".  Epic :)

Tonight is the Sunday Open Mic night at Lush, which should prove to be interesting.  Nobody let me do anything stupid, k?

<3  Paige

Please speak softly, for they will hear us / And they'll find out why we don't trust them

China is one huge conspiracy set up in order to thwart Pajjes.  Shit you not.  There is PROOF.

1. Decorative doors and appliances.  President-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named had problems with doors a while back, and I'm beginning to think that maybe this particular gaffe wasn't so much a symptom of his incompetence as an everyday occurrence in China.  Doors in this country?  Yeah.  THEY DON'T WORK.  There are entryways, placed in buildings, specifically for decorative purposes.  A building for classes that has 3,000 people coming in and out of it each hour?  Ten doors seems pretty reasonable, right?  ONLY ONE OPENS.  A refrigerator, placed in my apartment?  Or a heating unit?  Well, yes, that's a first-world accommodation!  Good job, China!  EXCEPT THEY DON'T WORK.
2. Chocolate.  There must be real chocolate in this country, I just haven't figured out where the supermarkets have hidden it yet.  Probably stashed under a side of lamb somewhere, and you have to read the special Chinese map handed out by the supermarket guards at the front to find it.  
3. "Mei you!" 沒有 You walk into a restaurant, specializing in zhou.  You order pork and preserved egg zhou.  There's none to be had.  So you try to order rice 米.  And they don't have that, either.  Apparently the only things available are the most expensive items on the menu, and that's not kosher.  Looks like you're walking to the other zhou place, across the railroad tracks - because, yes.  The only thing more ubiquitous around here than hair salons are porridge huts.  Good thing they're open 24 hours.  Do not pass Go.  Do not collect 200 yuan.
4. No one understands Chinese.  It's just a brilliant plot orchestrated by the government and practiced by the entire population in order to perplex outsiders.  All you need to do in order to get in on the ruse is speak emphatically while using a handful of syllables, and occasionally spit off to the side.  Win.  Oh, and the characters?  Some of the more important ones, like numbers and food items might be real, but the complicated ones?  Don't bother learning.  Firstly, you'll just forget;  and secondly, they don't exist.  Learn to mime.  Totally more effective.
5. No one actually has office hours.  Perpetual lunch breaks!  (The most common - in fact, ONLY - times to find people actually behind a desk, though, are 9:00 - 11:00am and 2:00 - 4:00pm.)
6. Stephenie Meyer's target audience was actually teenage Chinese girls.  Giving up everything for a boy, being perfectly chaste until marriage, acting like a child throughout the entirety of the relationship, and dying in the end?  Yeah.  Think about it. 
7. Pajjes are quarantined from the Cool.  There are some awesome, hellacious rocker/skaters in Beijing, who play loud rock music, have amazing hair/tattoos, and talk intellectually about <insert subject here>.  They just live far, far away from me, and the buses stop running at 11:00pm.  
8. Marijuana.  It's handed out to the Chinese populus liberally, like soma in Brave New World, but they're only allowed to use it prior to driving or riding bicycles.   It's especially encouraged to partake if you are expected to encounter a small blonde girl on the road that day.  Who are we to judge? 

 ... And we all know about the internet.

In other news!

• Halloween party at Yen was rad.  Nice girls don't give details.
• Pirated Chinese DVDs are giving me the media consumption quota I'm accustomed to.  Reviews to follow.  
• Holy God, I love zhou.
• Sign up for Nanowrimo, if you haven't already!  
• No one's allowed to make fun of me for quoting Paramore.
• Apparently, when placed in an awkward or potentially dangerous situation, I revert to a Texan accent and Southern belle mode.  Could this be considered a defense mechanism?

Hearts, stars, and I love you lots - especially green-eyed Asian skaters.

<3  Pajj