Don't waste your time, or time will waste you.

Musings

I've been a lazy ass for the past week, on account of being sickly + losing what little projecting power my voice happens to have [people who've been in Theatre/debate/extemp with me can attest to the feeble projection power].  This has given me a lot of time to think - about everything that's happened so far in Beijing, how I feel about it, how I intend to make an impact while I'm here, and what I expect to carry away from the experience for the long term.

*insert hippie wisdom*
"Dude, man, that's heavy.  Gravid with responsibility and obligation.  Gravity's always bringing us down, man, why do have to bring up that shit?  Ew."

... But seriously.

What's happened so far:
You've read about it.  I've Facebooked and Blogspotted the hell out of it. 

How I feel about it:
Weary, a little bit disgusting, sort of stupid/ignorant.  Not quite up to the point where I can take on a Marine bare-handed or in a katana battle to the death, but getting there.

How I intend to make an impact while I'm here:
Aaaaaaaaaand we get to the point of this entry. 

A few nights ago, before I headed to Lush and after I got finished with one of the tutoring sessions for the Little Ones + Medium Ones (4-year-olds and 11-year-olds), I decided to walk down one of the few remaining hutong out by Tsinghua University and the Wudaokou Chaoshifa supermarket. 

Most of the hutong around here are really... Gosh, I don't know how to adequately explain it.  A "hutong" is an old, winding alleyway with houses, shops, and street vendors... but that doesn't explain it, either.  Picture a dirty, conglomeration of EVERYTHING:  foods, goods, people, beds, fires, puppies, livestock, human refuse, garbage, anything you can think of, crammed onto a street.  That's... sort of?... a hutong.  Just know there's a lot of activity, it usually smells kind of nasty, and there are many things to see, all at once.

One of the things I saw that night was a kid (about five years old) accompanied by his pet Chow Chow, poking in a mud puddle and wearing a tattered Stanford sweatshirt. 

*BAM* Punch in the stomach.

An ancient-looking woman was about ten feet away, watching the little boy out of the corner of her eye to ensure that he wouldn't do anything potentially dangerous or disgusting;  at first, I thought she might have been his grandmother, because of the whole toothless-and-wrinkled thing, but nope.  Mother.  Street vendor.  Selling meat dumplings for 0.7 yuan each.  Probably ends up making around 10 yuan profit for the entire night, if she's lucky. 

Behind the meat dumpling stand was a dark little room, a few blankets on the floor;  I assume that's where she, the kid's father, and the little boy sleep at night.  No bathroom, looked like no electricty.  Public toilet nearby - horrible stench.

What was I thinking? 

I want that child to have the opportunity to go to Stanford, instead of just wearing the sweatshirt with the English word.  He, his family - they probably don't even know what "Stanford" means.  But I want that child to be able to go to university, in China or in the United States - wherever he wants.  If he DOESN'T want to go to university, that's fine, but I want him to have the option.  I want him to be able to walk into a library, have internet access, be able to find out what's happening in the world, in a language he can understand, and make enlightened decisions based on the knowledge he gleans. 


... bah.


DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.

I'm not an idealist, normally, I don't have stupid pipe dreams about leaping class statuses / hopping rungs on the social ladder, especially not a in single generation.  But I *do* have certain expectations about education, and believe that it should be both equal and universal.

... Dammit.

Okay, so that was a stupid thing to write, and you're shaking your head and laughing and saying "Oh, that Paige.  Let's click 'like' on her Facebook status and tell her that she's worrying her pretty little head about things she can't change." or something.  Please don't. 

The fact of the matter is:  The kids I'm teaching right now come from wealthy families, and will almost defnitely have a decent job when they graduate.  They will all, most likely, go to university.  They have good names, and good social connections;  they will know the ins and outs of Chinese society and politics, and they will succeed.  They will bear more children, similar to themselves, who will also have English tutors/teachers, and who will continue with the same sort of tradition.  They will have cars.  They will have nice business offices.  Wear suits.  Whatevs.  Their parents will be proud, taken care of as they age, and die content in the knowledge that their kids are mostly good people.  Most likely, their biggest concern will be some sort of gaffe five years ago that embarrassed them socially.

... This kid?  And his parents?  Well, they probably won't. 

Is that sad?  Oh, incredibly.  So how can I change that?  Why is that a bad thing?  Should I even be contemplating changing it?  Would it matter if I did?  Would his parents be offended, if I tried to give their son an opportunity at a supposedly "better" life?  Would it just instill discontent with his circumstances if I did, and thus be a failure rather than something productive?

Grr.

... Just, grr.

...



And yes, I bought a hell of a lot of meat dumplings.





<3
(Love you all, and miss you lots.  As always.)

Decision to decisions are made and not bought.

[NOTE:  my links are the same color as my background, because I fail at life.  If you see a space within the main text of a paragraph, run your mouse over it, because it's probably a clickable link.  Hearts.]

First off, Joshua Lally's birthday at Lush this Friday was amazing, epic, beautiful, and ALL other positive adjectives.  Lush introduced a series of "girly" drinks with the tagline "EPIC" - about 1.5 liters each - for 100 yuan.  I really want to bring a camera one night and take pictures;  college kids are going CRAZY for the dang things, mostly for shock value and the ability to Facebook pictures of the tankard home to their friends.  A bunch of imported beers were also announced, including the most delicious thing I've ever tasted.  Blows the Arrogant Bastard out of the water.

Good people, good times.  And afterwards, Josh, AwesomeCritcizingGuy and I watched the new "Star Trek" + ate copious quantities of BigMacs!  (Quickly coming to appreciate the quality of McDonald's, you have NO idea.)

... The only problem was that my classes at Capitol Normal University's high school began the next day at 7:30am :-\

Running through classes on adrenaline was a heck of a feeling, though, and definitely got rid of the first day jitters.  The program I'm teaching is just for one day on the weekend, for 14-15 year old students at CNU-HS.  There are six teachers (I'm definitely the youngest, dammit, though there are a couple others 20-somethings who just got out of college).  The set up:  six class groups of about thirty students each, but we only teach four classes each Saturday.  Teachers come up with the lesson, give the lecture in 45 minutes, and then move to the next class room.

And, dears?
THE STUDENTS IN CHINA ARE FREAKING AMAZING.
THIS APPLIES TO EVERYTHING I TEACH.

... Actually?  Let's do bullet points, those are easier to read.

BEIJING FORESTRY UNIVERSITY (kids)
Contacts:  Mr. Wang and Amy

• 4 year olds = Four of them, two girls and two boys.  They got English names and workbooks/readers, which made their parents happy, and (thank God), I remembered to bring stickers, which made the kids somewhat docile for an hour.  By the end of the class, they were calling me "mama" instead of Laoshi Paige.  Adorbs.
• 10/12 year olds = Four of them, three girls and a boy.  They all go to Tsinghua University primary school, and are of varying degrees of "bright", though all can speak English fairly well.  There's one little bitty tiny girl who literally cannot stop talking - she got incredibly excited when we began to list foods.  The boy (very tall, a couple years older than the girls, speaks with a stutter) is a bit shy, and has some problems with grammar, but listening in class will be good for him.  The kids' favorite sport?  Table tennis.  Not even joking.  :D
• There are apparently three other groups of children that they signed me up for afterward - more 12 year olds, and an 11 year old who has spent a lot of time in the United States and can speak English very well.  The more I do this, the more it feels like a scam (never teach the same people twice, always "demo" classes, and haven't been paid yet), but listening to the kids say Chinese words is helpful for pronunciation, as is attempting to talk to their parents.  
• This is the job I'll cut if I find myself getting overwhelmed, as it also takes the most energy - the little ones might be adorable, but they need a lot of attention.

LANGUAGE TRAINING CENTER

• Just one little girl named YuGe, age 14.  She wants to go to university in the United States, and is about to take her final examination in primary school (which determines which high school YuGe will attend).  Apparently the one I'm teaching at right now is ranked #4 in Beijing, which is VERY good, considering how many high schools there happen to be.  
• YuGe loves Twilight, Justin Bieber (AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAaaaaaaaaaaaAAAaaa), and learning about American culture.  Her parents are very wealthy;  their house is a villa, and, in Beijing, where property values are sky-high, having a three story house all your own isn't very common.

CAPITOL NORMAL UNIVERSITY HIGH SCHOOL
Already mentioned a bit about this, but there's a great deal more to say:

• The other teachers are highly qualified for their work - everyone else has taught the high school age group before.  Five - four guys, and me - are 21-35 years old, with one older lady named Kathryn (about 45?  50?).  Kathryn works for a publishing house in Beijing, but used to teach at the University of Florida in the United States (journalism and media communications), and later on Tsinghua (primarily English).  
• We come up with our own lesson plans, and teach them four times each Saturday to four different groups of kids.
• Classes are ~30 students, some of whom participate more than others.  Most just want to sleep or work on other homework, but there are a few dynamic kids who sit in the front.  My first class was *glorious*.  One little boy is studying German, and got really excited when he found out I did the same in high school.  
• Students have a lot of homework.  There's no way to properly express this to you.

IT BUSINESS CLASS (reading and writing)

• Haven't actually gotten to meet these guys, yet, but my task is to basically teach them reading comprehension and writing skills.  They'll have homework, both in class and to take away.
• Apparently there are fifty students.  Christ.

As always, love and miss you all.  And classes in Mandarin are going decently (though obviously not this fun).  Haven't really connected with any of the students in my class, and the cliquage has already begun - mostly into different nationalities, which is understandable.  I'm the only one whose native language is English :-\

Anyhow, more later!


<3 and stars,
Pajj

"for make bennefit glory of the pupulation"

Haven't blogged in FOREVER, as I have the attention span of a rodent (and a penchant for utilizing hyperbole in everyday situations)... Not to mention I've been super-busy.  Here are some things that have happened:

• Cannot move into the new dorm until Monday (according to Mr. Liu) because some paperwork needs to be run by the engineering department.  Have lost all hope of attaining a decent housing situation. The hellish concrete room is fine, for the moment, but... I miss hot showers, and would gladly pay someone for the privilege of letting me use theirs'. 
• There are so many Koreans in Wudaokou!  Apparently, if the kids do not score well enough on tests in school and cannot make it into a good university (either in Korea, the United States, or somewhere in Europe), their parents send them to China as a sort of punishment.  Korean restaurants and dance clubs abound, as do Korean snack foods and Korean-targeted brands.  Japanese culture is practically non-existent, though;  there are a few eateries, a few fashion things, and that's about it (which is expected, given the political situation).
• Sanlitun sells sex, sports, and alcohol - else, businesses are guilty of a lot of false advertising.
• I'm contemplating a language exchange with one of the Fuwuyuans at Lush (Gary is really smart, and was a mathematics major at his old university before he had to drop out due to financial concerns).  His dream is to finish school, and pursue an advanced degree in the United States - which means that he needs to improve his English and start studying for the GRE + GRE Subject Tests.  Gary also apparently doesn't like Computer Science, which could be a problem, because the Chinese university's version of "Math" major is basically CAAM. 
• Was planning on getting some Differential Equations and Multivariable Calculus books myself to puzzle through, anyway.  We'll see how it goes.  
• I... uh.  Also might have purchased a Merriam Webster's Vocabulary Builder which doesn't seem to be doing much in the way of building my vocabulary so much as teaching me the historical context surrounding word origins.  He can have that, too.
• Practicing Mandarin!  Both in real life and via the workbooks.  This, however, is not enough, and should start learning as many characters as possible.  The bus system is good for this, because on the signs they list the Hanzi and Pinyin for each stop, but still.  Not enough. 
• JOBS:  ... a few.
• Acting as a lecturer for a course at the high school affiliated with Capitol Normal University.  Topic (fingers crossed):  history and philosophy of science.  Saturday mornings, 8-12:00 pm.
• English Language teacher for a bunch of IT executives at Tsinghua.  Sundays, 1:30 - 4:30pm.
• English language teacher for kids ages 4 - 6 years old, at the Forestry University.  Friday evenings, 6 - 8:00pm.
• English language tutor in college prep for a 14-year-old girl who wishes to study abroad in the United States, eventually.  Sundays, 9 - 11am.
• And then there's the freelance stuff, which ranges from the HTML/copy editing work to the SPSS stuff to getting fMRIs done. 
• Trying to get a position in a research lab, but that's going to be difficult.
• READING - been doing a lot of it.
• China's Megatrends
• Freakonomics
• Harvard Business Review of Doing Business in China
• Guns, Germs, and Steel (currently reading)
• American Gods (currently reading)
• general science articles
• school books
• The kids here are adorable!  And so are the little college girls in my dormitory.  They do EVERYTHING together - even holding purses, one at either strap.  The affected childlike behavior gets old quickly, though. I'm sick of the giggling and the wide-eyes and the temper tantrum stomping in stores until cookies or cakes are bought for them.
• Speaking of which, Chinese bakeries are the most magical, delicious places in the history of the world and personally, I would be content to never eat anywhere else EVER AGAIN.
• LONELY
• There's no peace quite like being an island in a sea of happy, reveling internationals.
• ... Then again, no man is an island.
• GUITAR
• Haven't been practicing as much as I should.  Need to get an instruction book, or copy one off the internet, but right now all I do is read sites and then go home and practice strumming.  
• TRAVEL
• Haven't been out of Beijing.  Fail.

Love you all <3 
More later!
- Paige