As long as I'm alive, I'mma live illegal.

All right, this is serious, socially-aware time.  Grown-up faces, people.

• Firstly (and least-time-consumingly!) please check out my friend Lisa's art site.  She's really talented, and I love her to pieces... not to mention she's gorgeous.  Lisa would probably kick me in the groin for saying that, but facts be facts, yo.

• Secondly, have I told you yet that there are 7-11s in China?  The chain is ubiquitous (seriously, everywhere you look), with branches functioning as 24 hour supermarkets/liquor stores.  The one in WuDaoKou is especially popular after midnight, as one can pick up a slightly less expensive handle of Jack Daniel's and a liter of Coca-Cola before heading back into the nightclub next door.  I've gotten addicted to their store-brand Pocky:  "Seven Premium Chocolate Sticks!", which is cheaper, and comes in a ridiculous number of flavors:  including creamy potato-bacon, blueberry creme, and chocolate almond.  Delicious.

• HandsomeRich was in a BMW commercial.  Lulz.
• This is actually something that should have happened a long time ago, as HandsomeRich is tall, classy, intelligent, and confident - precisely the sort of person an automobile company would be eager to have pimping its product.  I'm honestly a little confused as to why random Chinese mothers aren't tossing their daughters out into the street as he walks by in the hope that he'll trip over one of them and fall madly in love.  It's that bad.

• Pajj was cast as an extra in a CCTV melodrama about the Empress Dowager Cixi.  
• ... This, however, is a "WTF, China?" occurrence.  I may be many things, and may have many aspirations, but "international actress discovered on the street!" is not one of them.  The entire experience was a little sketchy - it involved a LOT of waiting around, which I suspect is typical for filming anything - and *freezing*, as it took place in a model of the Forbidden City out in the Beijing boondocks.  Met some really interesting people though.
• And no, I don't have any idea how they're going to turn the life of "a devious despot who contributed in no small part to China's slide into corruption, anarchy, and revolution" into a melodrama.  Guess we'll all find out in September?

• There are a few things that bother me about my textbook/workbook.   
• Number one:  it's not a textbook.  It's flimsy, printed on newspaper-quality paper, and intended to only last a few months.  I would prefer paying a little more for something with a bit more of a lifespan.  The ability to actually *write* in the text - to be interactive, instead of just straight reading - is a pro, though.  
• Number two:  English and pinyin are both used, but only peripherally - which makes sense for a book designed to teach elementary school students Chinese - but it is also a bit annoying.  After a character is introduced in pinyin, it is never mentioned in pinyin again.  Hanzi is of primary importance.  
• (I know that's a dead horse, and I can't change the way I'm being taught, but CHRIST!  Someone is actually paying for this - paying an amount comparable to the scholarship given to Peking U and Tsinghua undergraduate students - and the education I'm getting is far inferior.  Not cool, CUGB.  Not cool.)
• Number three:  the dialogues are both stereotypical and misogynistic.  I can say this with confidence, now that I've worked through all the lessons.  
• Example:  one exchange, between a girl named Lisa and a French boy named Jeff, centers around Lisa's desire to stay in her dorm instead of going to class one morning because she wants to meet up with her boyfriend.  Jeff, upon discovering this, ridicules her decision to have a boyfriend and suggests that she give him a "present" when he comes.  Giggity?
• There's also the matter of everyone pairing off into couples in the dialogues (no, seriously) and the women always being the ones to make dumplings/serve tea.  
• One character, Wang Ping (the only Chinese person) tells the American, Peter, that he intends to study in the United States for graduate school.  Peter's response is that Wang Ping should stay with his family for the extent of his time in graduate school, without paying money, and that it would be no trouble whatsoever.  Wang Ping's response is a simple thank you, with the implication that Peter's invitation is completely normal, and actually expected - even though Wang Ping has never allowed Peter to stay in his home in China.  
• .Um... what?
• In another dialogue, Jeff's bike is stolen.  Wang Ping's responses are as follows:  "Oh, you must not be looking in the right place.";  "Oh, you must not have tied it up correctly.";  "Oh, well, then, just get a new one."  This is apparently standard for a Chinese mindset?  Are there *ever* police reports for missing items, or is there just no hope of retrieving them?  Or would it just be too hard to put that into a dialogue?  They'd already introduced the word for police, and police station.
• The other workbook is even funnier, most of the time.  There was a section towards the end on differentiating between "Chinese medicine" and "Chinese drugs" - i.e., medicinal herbs vs. marijuana.  The main character was in an airport, getting searched by the police (both westerners) who had angry expressions on their faces and were emphatically stating "NOT Chinese medicine!" while the student was trying to explain that he just wanted something to cure his headache.
• Fact:  ... uh.  It isn't that hard, folks.
• I also just realized that I stopped numbering off my complaints with the text due to frustration.  That's probably an even bigger indication of how much I *hate* it, right?
• Finally, and most seriously:  the alcohol situation.  

Taken straight out of a TimeOut Beijing pamphlet:

Buying DVDs for a fraction of the cost in the West is one thing, but nobody wants to knock back fake alcohol, especially if it's potentially dangerous.  Not all alcohol sold in Beijing's bars is genuine.  'Most people drink mixed spirits, so they can't really taste the difference,' explains Jade Gray, owner of the nightclub Lush.  After a batch of fake alcohol once slipped into Gray's delivery, he decided to do a taste test 'and sure enough, four out of the five drinks weren't right'.  Gray now [performs] random taste tests for each delivery and requests a stamp from the warehouse for each bottle.  But, according to Robin Howlett, owner of Souk, some bars don't seem to mind selling less-than-authentic booze.  'You can't make mney out of 50RMB all you can drink nights using brand spirits.  What some bars are doing is buying cheap 9RMB vodka and rebottling it in brand-name bottles,' he says.

Earlier this year, in just one raid, Tianjin police discovered 2,600 kilograms of raw materials used in fake alcohol and nearly 200,000 fake labels of twelve companies, including Hennessey and Chivas.  Ray Moroney, from IPR company Rouse and Co., says 'one of the problems companies have is what they call "refill", where pedlars take a genuine bottle, put fake alcohol inside, and then reseal it'.

But the complexities of the distillation process means fake spirits carry a potential health risk.  'When you distil alcohol, you have to take off the top and bottom ends to remove the bad alcohol.  Someone who is faking it isn't going to worry about that,' says Duncan Loynes, the general manager for Foster's beer (China).  'The dangerous alcohols can kill you.  They can make you blind.  It is entirely possible that they can be safe, but it's impossible to tell, as they are not regulated at all.'

Without any kind of regulation, the health risks are obvious.  'Some manufacturers are making alcoholic drinks illegally using methanol - a cheaper and easier to produce alcohol than ethanol.  Methanol is not meant for human consumption, but for industrial and hospital use.  If it is ingested, methanol can cause problems,' explains Dr. Nizar Ahmed of the International Medical Center in Beijing.  'A very small quantity of methanol can pass through the body, but if you drink a significant amount, then it will kill you.  It takes about 72 hours for methanol to pass through the body, so there can be an accumulative effect.  Drinking [alcohol tainted with methanol] all weekend could cause serious damage,' he warns.  'If one is suspicious that they have imbibed any methanol-based substance, they should have their stomach pumped within a couple of hours.  Alternatively, if you are suspicious that you have drunk a small amount of fake alcohol, you should eat a lot of food such as meat, fish, bread, and milk.  Thsi will help absorb the alcohol,' advises Dr. Ahmed.

But to Gray, the difference between pirated CDs and a bottle of fake spirits is huge.  'You're putting this into your body.  Alcohol tainted with methanol isn't just illegal music;  this is poison.'  

I met Jade a while ago;  he's one of the owners of Lush, and co-founder of GungHo Ventures (all of which are big names in the Beijing area).   This was one of the subjects he touched on over lunch, regarding business practices, but I guess I never really grasped the magnanimity of the issue.  Tainted alcohol is the reason why I've been wary about hitting the club scene (Propaganda, Solutions, etc.), and don't mind sticking with internationally-owned bars, even though the beverages are much more expensive. 

... There's also the whole "Getting slapped on the ass and being crowded by a mob of pulsating, moshing people is uber-sketch" mindset, but whatever.  That's clubbing, in general.   

• 
  Scary Bosses (n.):  see "Video games"
  Jade's on the left
  
  
  
  
   Given the level of drinking for most of the study abroad students here, it would be easy to imagine some of them having severe health problems later on, due to the volume of alcohol they imbibe.  Every night, I see the same faces stumbling along the streets by the seediest bars in WuDaoKou;  has anyone let them know about the "evil spirits"?  Probably not :-\  Or if they have, the schoolkids just don't want to shell out a few more yuan for safety's sake.  
  
  
  Sad face.  Serious face.  Grown-up face.
  
  Oh, China.  I luffs you, but you is all sorts of messed up sometimes :(
  
  
  <3s,
  Pajj